I had my first windsurfing class today. Windsurfing is as hard as I expected but I am quite surprised by how i managed to pick up the outhaul so easily. When we did our first swim test I almost had a panic attack. I was told to swim in a pool of filthy-looking seaweed-rich seawater. I have never swam in anything that I cannot see what’s underneath. Maybe that one time at Lake Powell, where I almost drowned myself. From then on, I swore to God I will never to that again.
After speaking to the German girl, izzy, who described the levels of fear to me and suggested to me that I should start from the first level of fear, I was a little shaken. I thought about conquering my fear and try surfing at least once before I leave San Diego. After giving it a second thought though I figure I am better off living with the regret of not surfing than killing myself.
When I went home I just plunged into the couch and went on a two-hour long slumber party with the TV. Then I slept for another two hours, waking up to dawn. When I woke up though, I was thinking of Mike. In fact, I have been thinking about him even since he confessed to me on thursday how he thought we could be happy together. I was a little bit touched and swayed by his persistent pursuit/endeavour. I don’t know tip this date if he was being entirely genuine. If he was, then I must say I felt a little bit ticklish deep inside. I am still waiting days pass by to understand my feeling better. it could just be a phase. I went through phases where I couldn’t stop thinking about Thys, oscar, jasper, and George. Yes I think it’s fair to say that I am kind of boy crazy. I don t deny the fact that I miss having someone around. I imagine having Mike over to my house and we will just study and chill together. I don’t want to have sex with him, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to have an intimate companion. I don’t have much feeling for him doesn’t make me a strong woman who doesn’t yearn for a man’s embrace.
I know everything is going to be alright. I just cannot help but feel a little sentimental about the past and my future. My memories here with my friends and also the people I have been with. America has given me a lot and taught me a lot about myself. I will miss this place but it seems like its about time for home, or a change.
COuchsurfing has been really fun. Meeting the German girl was quite alright, she is smart and beautiful. Her look fits in what the world perceive as beautiful- curly blonde hair, blue eyes, caucasian. The world is unfair but there is no point of dwelling on it. She is a med student doing research in USD. She is probably overjoyed by all the attention American boys are giving her. I definitely had gone through that phase when I thought I was the most special person in the room. Very soon, she will realise things are not what she had expected, and that breaking up with a guy who loves her dearly might be a mistake, or not. She is young and adventurous, i like her spirit but I can also sense that innocence youth that somehow might take her down a little. She will be fine.
I took Tanya to teresa’s party last night. It was quite enjoyable. People are pretty cool but I am not very interested in mingling with everyone. I am not interested in everyone as I used to. Its a very nice feeling in fact. Peter was very nice and chill. I would not mind spending more time with him. The moments when he plunges into his deep thoughts, i could not help but laugh. It looks so genuine and yet so ironically pretentious.
I picked Tanya up because I really appreciate her being the DD all the time and not being able to get drunk. We went to in-and-out I wasn’t even hungry but i thought it would be nice to take her there. We had some nice chat. Turns out everyone has his/her own little struggle. Some people jut choose not to show it.
Tracing back to Tuesday and Wednesday, hosting George and Alex was probably one of the best decision I made. They are very easy-going, well-mannered (typical British guys) and funny. I took them out to Super covina for some Mexican breakfast. I did pay for Alex, not because I was willing to, but what could I have done in that situation?Geroge is even more witty. He is funny the most important thing is he could handle my jokes. I like it when people can react to my humour without make a fool out of me. I hope to visit them one day in devon, however, my concern is my English is going to deteriorate for sure. Oh well. Life is too short for all these worries.
I need to get to work now. I need to learn how to focus and pick up on my studies. I sort of let loose and let myself forget about how to be a good student.
Love and Peace.